Many years ago, after a yoga class, an acquaintance who barely knew me, mentioned that she found me “to be of an artistic nature.” As this part of myself, which I had all but forgotten about, was brought to light, I felt seen. Possibly for the first time in my life. Choking with emotion, I realised that a childhood that had little joy had forced me into denying my inner artist. In denying my creative nature, I had betrayed myself. The deepest pain is the pain of self-betrayal.

According to renowned healer and author Donna Eden, our second chakra, our creative core, is where the soul embraces the body. When we see creativity as the vital relationship with our innermost Self, and as a journey through which we honour the commitment that affirms our worth at the moral level, then we understand the consequences of being cut off from our creative centre. Our creative nature is innately connected to the moral intuition held within the body - its sensitivity to discern truth and draw appropriate boundaries. 

Without the grounding provided by the creative essential self, we find ourselves fumbling our way through life, searching for security and safety where it doesn’t exist. Without experentially knowing the creative innocence of our essential self, we separate from the purity, spontaneity and trusting nature of the natural child within. Our ego forges an identity vastly different to our innate nature. A coarser, suspicious and restless self emerges, hardened by merciless self-hatred and self-sabotage, unable to fight the anger that abruptly arises without explanation, and too exhausted by trying to be someone we are not. We attract relationships that reflect back to us the isolation we feel from our true self.

Soon after my awakening, I understood how real the creative need was when my spiritual teacher alerted me, “Sonali the artist within you is angry, she must be given time and expression, or she will do whatever it takes to have her way!” It was only when I made my inner artist the foremost commitment in my life, that others areas in my life started flowing smoothly. It is only upon completion of this commitment to the self, that we give ourselves permission to receive life in its fullness.

Sonali Johri Ⓒ Copyright 2018